Ep.1/ Coaching Is a Scam (And Why You Might Still Want to do it)
A lot of coaching doesn’t fail because people don’t try hard enough.
It fails because it sells certainty where discernment is needed.
Let’s start with the uncomfortable truth:
Coaching can be a scam.
Not inherently - but frequently enough that skepticism is reasonable. If you’ve ever watched someone promise clarity in a weekend, confidence in five steps, or a “quantum shift” that suspiciously resembles a motivational hangover, you’re not wrong to hesitate.
A lot of coaching doesn’t fail because people don’t try hard enough.
It fails because it sells certainty where discernment is needed.
Why coaching gets a bad reputation
Coaching turns scammy when it:
Promises transformation without context or time
Treats discomfort as a mindset failure
Ignores capacity, nervous systems, and real-life constraints
Confuses confidence with competence
Optimizes people like projects
At that point, it’s not support - it’s pressure with better branding. Sometimes very expensive pressure.
For thoughtful, self-aware people, this kind of coaching doesn’t feel motivating. It feels vaguely threatening.
This is also why I take training (annoyingly) seriously
One of the fastest ways to lose respect for coaching is to realize how easy it is to call yourself a coach.
Which is why I’m training toward ACC accreditation with the International Coaching Federation (ICF) — a process that requires 60+ hours of formal coach education, mentorship, and at least 100 hours of documented coaching before certification is even considered. But this is a story for another day.
What good coaching actually does
Good coaching doesn’t give you answers.
It doesn’t fix you.
It doesn’t bypass fear or effort.
What it does do is help you:
understand how you actually function
build self-trust instead of outsourcing it
create safety before change
make decisions that aren’t fueled by panic or obligation
It’s quieter than most people expect. And slower. Which is usually the point.
Why you might still want coaching
Most people don’t need more information.
They need structure, reflection, and support while they integrate what they already know.
Coaching can be useful when you:
want “more” but not at the cost of burnout
feel capable but internally split
are standing at a transition and can’t rush it
want to take risks without self-abandonment
At its best, coaching creates space — not urgency.
Final thought
Yes, coaching can be a scam.
But good coaching doesn’t sell transformation.
It supports discernment.
And sometimes, at the right moment, that’s not dramatic Why coaching gets a bad reputation
Coaching turns scammy when it:
Promises transformation without context or time
Treats discomfort as a mindset failure
Ignores capacity, nervous systems, and real-life constraints
Confuses confidence with competence
Optimizes people like projects
At that point, it’s not support - it’s pressure with better branding. Sometimes very expensive pressure.
For thoughtful, self-aware people, this kind of coaching doesn’t feel motivating. It feels vaguely threatening.
This is also why I take training (annoyingly) seriously
One of the fastest ways to lose respect for coaching is to realize how easy it is to call yourself a coach.
Which is why I’m training toward ACC accreditation with the International Coaching Federation (ICF) — a process that requires 60+ hours of formal coach education, mentorship, and at least 100 hours of documented coaching before certification is even considered. But this is a story for another day.
What good coaching actually does
Good coaching doesn’t give you answers.
It doesn’t fix you.
It doesn’t bypass fear or effort.
What it does do is help you:
understand how you actually function
build self-trust instead of outsourcing it
create safety before change
make decisions that aren’t fueled by panic or obligation
It’s quieter than most people expect. And slower. Which is usually the point.
Why you might still want coaching
Most people don’t need more information.
They need structure, reflection, and support while they integrate what they already know.
Coaching can be useful when you:
want “more” but not at the cost of burnout
feel capable but internally split
are standing at a transition and can’t rush it
want to take risks without self-abandonment
At its best, coaching creates space — not urgency.
Final thought
Yes, coaching can be a scam.
But good coaching doesn’t sell transformation.
It supports discernment.
And sometimes, at the right moment, that’s not dramatic or flashy — it’s just deeply relieving.or flashy — it’s just deeply relieving.
